Freak Out or Freaky Parent?

I have to admit that during my pregnancy I've had some pretty ridiculous thoughts:
Why isn't my baby drowning? I mean she is living in water, will she be a fish?
Why does she kick me all the time, am I already a bad mother?
When is she going to come out? Why does she prefer to be inside the dark and creepy womb for all this time?


However, last night won the prize, took the cake, was a 10 out of 10 freak attack.


I woke up to find myself sleeping on my back (a big no, no in the world of 9 mos pregnant women) and had a moment of panic which lead to a total freak out.

OMG, I thought, there is a live human being living inside of me and for some reason I've accepted this as OK, the norm, even a miracle!

How could this be true or possible? How could a living, breathing human being be hanging out inside my body?

Impossible, I thought. I must get it out of me as immediately! How could my husband (who is supposed to love me) allow this freak of an incident happen? Was he not paying attention (like usual) or did he just want a front row seat to the live horror show that would unfold when this baby pops out of my belly?

I was a millisecond from waking him up and insisting that he take me directly to the ER to remove this alien object (otherwise known as a baby) when I must have found my brain, at least the reasonable half.

I thought to myself, yes this is really weird, I am carrying a little person inside of me (aka Alien baby). A human being who will most likely look like me and talk like me. She will definitely be as big of a pain as me, but will most likely be far more loving and kinder than I am (like my husband).

This is a miracle and I need to embrace it instead of calling the local loony bin to pick me up and take me away.

I am not sure why or how this happened but there was definitely a moment there when I thought I was loosing my mind. A moment when my reasoning and logic went out the window and emotions and fear took over.

Ahhh, I thought to myself as I gathered myself and calmly fell back asleep, this is only the beginning.